Notes from moi

So we are together....yippee! Her dad spoils her, "so you want to come home for the weekend?" And I do believe she knows his credit card number by heart. So on the plane she comes, gaining miles for her next great adventure. She will have to tell you about her travels. We are going to see the slideshow this evening, after Ryan drives up from Ames. He's on the road after his 4:00pm class on Friday. We are out on the deck, eating dill Havarti, 3 year Cheddar, Jarlsberg and some delicious crackers. Audrey and Jeff are having dirty martinis. Gus is scarfing crumbs off the floor. They are having an Ipod war...Audrey put on the new song by Feist (new album out in October) and then we continued to listen to her tunes and now he is pouting. There is only so many different versions of Tom Petty we can listen to. Now I am not dissing Tom, I dig him too, but a little modernism is a good thing.

Tomorrow, after work, I am meeting them at Brandon and Reina's, for some Purple Haze and some fancy beer from Munich that Jeff picked out at Byerly's Spirits. Then off to some fun place for dinner. I'm sure Ryan and Audrey will stick around at their brother's place afterwards. Then we'll see them on Sunday. Hope the weather is good so that we can go out on Minnetonka. Won't be much longer that we can put the boat in, at least without sweatshirts over our bathing suits. Oh summer...

notes from daughter

"attuned to subtleties of all kinds, they have a complex inner life and need time to process the constant flow of sensory data that is their inheritance... highly sensitive people [hsps] often have a heightened sense of smell or touch and, say, zero tolerance for itchy fabrics or sudden sounds."

"people with thin mental boundaries do not clearly separate the contents of consciousness, so that a fantasy life of daydreaming may bump right against everyday reality. it's as if those with thin boundaries have porous shells that allow more their their environment to penetrate and 'get' to them - and into their dreams."

the funny thing is, i didn't want to read the article "sense and sensitivity." who wants to read an article about overly sensitive people? the term "sensitivity" has such a negative connotation. but really, what is at the crux of the matter, is that i already know i am an overly sensitive person so why read about it and rub it in? it's clearly a trait of the family somewhere as i know my little brother is just as sensitive if not more than i. so i passed it. the article hurt my feelings without even trying.

the magazine passed hands and soon was returned to mine. "did you read the article about sensitive people?" my friend asked. no. "you really should. it's kind of about you." as true to my nature as possible i snuffed her, feeling insulted that she would think that i would need to read an article about being a highly sensitive person. "you really should read it. it's about your actual senses too." this peaked my interest. the senses are fascinating. why oh why do my senses seem so much more fine tuned than my peers? why can i smell the stale beer on the man's breath to the point that it makes me nauseous and turn curt to make him leave? why does the distant sound of a song i like find my ears even in a busy, crowded, loud room when no one else can (in general) hear? why does the touch of ribbons literally make me cringe, even as i write about them? my fingers are literally throbbing as i write. my eyes can easily spot things in my surroundings, finding beauty in what appears to be invisible to others. and i suppose it could be that my tastes are superior to others too and perhaps i take that for granted... but i do LOVE cheese. among other things.

i'm rambling. anyways. this article lends information on highly sensitive people, painting them in a rather bright light. it is kind of nice to be affected by your surroundings. it is nice to be genuinely moved by a song, by the red poppies that somehow sprout in the urban sprawl... i guess being able to read moods to a tee like it's nothing has its merits too (occasionally). somehow i wonder how much sensitivity inhibits my ability to live a normal life..

i'm rambling. but just take a minute to think about your senses. they're pretty remarkable, aren't they? do you have any ailments? gifts?

Notes from Mama Mia

OK, so another weekend bites the dust. And trust me, there was plenty of 70's-80's music this weekend. Five couples from the "olde" neighborhood in Eden Prairie got together at our friends' cabin. I love the understatement of calling a northern Minnesota home a cabin. This place is palatial. I can't even imagine how many trees it took to build it. But build it and they will come. And that we did.

Simple fun. Boating, games, liquor, wine, food, dessert, Candy drawer, golf, bonfire, laughing, napping, girl talk, cigars, walking, jokes, music, dancing, candles, lost readers, shared readers, and even tears. Mark told a sweet story that we all were "just" friends. Kind of like, "Oh Jeff just called and he's coming over"...."No need to clean up, it's just Jeff"....get it....we all are "just friends". So all weekend, it was just this, just that.

Audrey just got back from her 25th birthday tour. She was wandering Scandinavia and Iceland. The traveller on the magical, mystery tour. She longs to see other places, meet new people. She keeps it interesting. Then came back to go to Lollapalooza in Chicago. Brandon and Reina went as well. They do dig their tunes. Wasn't that long ago that we were doing the same. Thank goodness for ITunes. Ryan just left tonight to go see his girl friend from freshman/sophomore year. She moved back to Milwaukee. Who knows where this will lead. We weren't overly excited...and he said that we were "uncool parents". But in the end, we were cool. No forbidden fruit. Got to find your own way. I can't believe he is a senior already. He is working on his portfolio. Need 12 original works and then you email them all over the country to find an artist residency, get into grad school, or even God forbid, get a job.

My mother just finished her final round of chemo. Fait complis. Six nasty sessions every three weeks. Breast cancer. The unlucky 1 out of 7. How can this be? I don't even believe it. Logic defies. Nevertheless, it was her fate. Let's pray that it is gone. The first half was horrible. Then after the halfway mark there was a light at the end of the tunnel. And now, relief. She will get her hair back in three to four months. Can she just now die peacefully in her sleep of old, very old age?.?.?

note from daughter

another year, another move. this move has brought me even further west into the boundaries of logan square in chicago. the neighborhood is up and coming with a mix of hispanics and hipsters. my quaint street is full of diversity, fireflies and flowers which makes for an entertaining walk to and from the el each day. my apartment is significantly nicer than the homey but semi run down state of my previous apartment. new kitchen appliances, a sun roof, a garage and a fireplace all mark the status of a somewhat sophisticated abode. so far it's been the apartment vs. me as i am the only one completely moved in. two flights of narrow, steep stairs caused gashes in my legs from bookcase shelves falling out. my curtains dismounted themselves from my wall and crashed onto my head giving me what i am certain is a mild concussion. and i locked myself out on the roof, spending a blistering two and half hours in the hot, humid summer sun. this is a series of three unfortunate blows... does it mean i'm done yet?

must just get through three more days and then i am on a jet plane over the atlantic and into Scandinavia. i received a most delightful card in the mail from my parents. i will be celebrating my 25th birthday in the land of the ancestors - denmark. my mother must know me well (or she knows how i like to perceive myself) as the card has a picture of a woody wagon stuffed full of bags and vacation items with a dog standing on the top of the car in front, ready and reeling to go somewhere, anywhere. the card reads "happy birthday to a free spirit." i'll take it! i've got the travel bug bad. it's like a need an exotic vacation to look forward to to calm my restlessness. now that a return trip to europe has been booked, i'm dreaming about where i can go next. i just learned that my scottish friend sarah is moving to australia. maybe i will visit her down under... some people my age are anxious to find a significant other and settle down. i find i'm more anxious to see the world. now seems like the perfect time to travel - what do i have holding me back? absolutely nothing.

a note from mother

Sunday night. So do you think it is good? Sunday night? It's still the weekend, yet it's the end of the weekend and the eve of a new work week. Just talked with Ally and she was doing laundry and trying to decide if she should leave on the noisy 'end of cycle beep. No option between loud or soft, just yes or no. I say that the dryer is talking to me, so obviously I leave it on. She'll have to decide for herself.

I have begun seeing a chiropracter...again. Its been several years since the last one. Dr. Mike is definitely a witch doctor. Loads of karma, vibes, and voodoo. I liked him instantly. #1 He gives me hope. My western doctor, an internist, just deadpans, "You have bursitis in your hip." Twice. I actually went back to him to hear the exact same thing twice. So on to solving my own aches and pains. My work friend, Karen, says I just have to work through the pain and come out on the other side. And I'm trying magnesium as a supplement, supposed to alleviate the pain. I'll have to see how that works for me.

JJ and I had dinner last night in our small town of Excelsior. Drinks on the deck at home before we went. We always think that will make us cut down on spending money on drinks and wine at the restaurant, but when the server asks, we still order. So actually we are just drinking more than was initially intended. So much for self control. Then we walked to the Lake Minnetonka dock and looked out onto the bay. For those of you that don't speak Minnesotan, "Minne" means water and "tonka" means big (as in those big Tonka trucks the boys had in the sandbox when they were young.) There are five school districts on the lake, so that should give you an idea of how big the lake is. Lots of hiding places.

On Tuesday, the Bunco Babes took to the water on Lori's Winn and we cruised around from 2 until 9. The Bunco Babes started four years ago now. The 12 of us are all one degree removed from Diane. Diane and I became friends through our daughters, Ally and Jamie. Ally played soccer from kindergarten through her senior year of high school at Minnetonka. So a lot of my friends were soccer moms. During the middle years, I was the team manager and Deb was the treasurer, so we were together a lot. Driving to and from tournaments in the Twin Cities and beyond. We even survived a car crash together driving to the international soccer tournament in Blaine. Actually, we weren't together. The hood of my SUV went through the trunk of her sedan, after being plowed into by a semi. Semi, semi, me, Deb, and three cars up. Seven in all. We had five of the soccer players between us, so needless to say we didn't make it to the tournament. When the fireman, in all of his regalia, popped my car door with a crowbar, he said, "your truck saved your life." And then he moved on to the next car. Needless to say, JJ didn't hesitate, he went the next day and bought a brand new SUV off the lot. No one will ever convince us otherwise that its "smart" to drive a small car.

a note from daughter

we're currently in the middle of my favorite month of the year, july. the true month of summer where a warm kiss of sun bounces off the cheeks of strangers and smiles are visible in the eyes of passerbys. this summer truly is one for the books. every year i get flown like a queen to northern michigan where i find myself surrounded by the familiar faces of those i call family. how easy it is to slip back into a world of effortless security - your mothers hands gently combing your hair, your father leading a trail of happy ducklings into restaurants, paying for your food and making you smile. instantly, you are at ease and you let your guard down. you don't need to please anyone. you don't even need make-up. conversation happens without the slightest effort and the tense stress of everyday life slowly melts away.

such a harsh reality shock to land back in chicago where the familial comforts we take for granted are stripped away. the gritty streets are full of both wonder and mayhem. a city as big as chicago has something new to explore on every street corner. it fills me with a sense of curiosity living here - you never know what to expect. but it's a love / hate relationship i share with my fellow chicagoans. i love that there's always something to do, people to meet. but sometimes i find i would much prefer living in a more remote location (like northern michigan) where the hum of motors is replaced with the sounds of wind, waves and distant chatter. looking into the night sky in northern michigan can really make a girl feel small. how strange that when back in chicago, the tables turn and suddenly it's the world that seems so small.

the month will end with a trip on the opposite side of the vacation spectrum. i will be wielding my independence and skipping out of the country and into lands strangers call home. sweden, norway, denmark and iceland are calling my name. a test to my organization, my sense of adventure and general curiosity of how other people live. these are socialist countries that make it work. countries where the general population is considered the happiest of people in the world. i cannot wait to explore the beautiful landscapes and meet foreigners. i adore observing other cultures so what a treat this will be. another destination i can finally cross off my growing list of places i would like to visit. i hope to come back refreshed, with perspective and appreciation for both mother nature and human kind.

until then...

a note from mom

Our vacation destination hit the USA Today Life front page. So our family secret is out. A beautiful bay on the northern lower peninsula of Michigan (pronounced Meeshigan). You pronounce it that way if you wear maize and blue. My husband, Jeff, was born in Ann Arbor, so he bleeds blue. We have been coming to this spot since the children were towheads... their hair bleached ultra blonde by the sunny days on the white sand beach. Those days we lugged the sand toys down the boardwalk, along with peanut better and jelly sandwiches, Goldfish and juice boxes. Now it's Bloody Mary's or Vodka Raspberry Lemonades. How do those things happen?

My daughter, Audrey, has just left. Now I understand what her grandmother, Arlene aka Nana meant when her twenty-something kids left to go back to their prospective homes. She always said that she got the blues. Audrey is soon to be 25. Smart, tall, stunning and living on her own in Chicago. She left out home in Minnesota when she was 18 and didn't look back. Oh, she loves to visit, but she has a mission to fulfill and I do believe this mission is going to require her fullest attention.

Audrey's older brother, Brandon brought his girlfriend for a second summer. I do believe this relationship is for real. They bring out the best in each other, complimentary. Like green and purple. I think those are opposite colors on the color wheel. Ryan would know if he were here, but he is in Italy for the summer. He will soon be a senior in college and that will be the end of another era in my life, no more children in college. I won't miss the bills, but I will miss the Parent's Weekends, and the football games, and the bags of dirty laundry over Thanksgiving breaks. My husband calls me the China Lady, but it's a chore I relish. The smell of them on their t-shirts.

It's 5:55 am and a sailboat just went by. You don't mind getting up early here to enjoy the sunrise and the birds. Brandon and Reina got up early each morning to walk to town, via the beach, for a cup of coffee. The Colombian dark was their favorite. Reina is a natural photographer, so she has already archived our trip on Facebook. Gorgeous pictures of fun in the sun and of the family. And it's a big family. Jeff has four younger siblings, three sisters and one brother. All in all, Grandpa Jack, has fifteen grandchildren. It's a blast watching them come back year after year. The aunts and uncles all debate who has changed the most. This year Annie won the distinction. She'll be a freshman in high school in Milwaukee. Gorgeous and sweet. You look into her eyes and you can feel her soul.

My husband brings "Uncle Jeff's boat" each summer, trailering the Malibu for 13 hours from home. The name of the game is tubing. Everyone must get initiated each summer by "skipping" across the water. In other words, thrown off into the icy waters of Lake Michigan. You can hear the girls' high pitched screams all the way up to the condo. They look so darling in their bikinis and braided hair. Cousins... what a wonderful relationship a cousin is. There is something truly genuine about a cousin. Family without any strings or hangups.